So for some time now, I have been struggling with how to manage my practice and handle money. I always hear from other colleagues, that the most difficult and uncomfortable aspect about a private practice, is dealing with money from the patients. We first start out with a great introduction and get to know our patients in order to develop trust. Then comes the deductive portion of the doctor visit, where both patient and practitioner determine what is going on. The physician, based on training, determines a diagnosis and possible treatment plan/s. Ideally next, the physician will explain the treatment and what it will entail so as to aid in bringing awareness to the patient so that there is a clear and understandable process that hopefully will lead towards a healing benefit. This process I believe is so critical, in that it helps to solidify the confidence and trust that we as doctors work so hard to develop in such a short time frame. Treatment of some kind is administered, and in the case of acupuncture, the patient will more than likely be allowed to relax, meditate, pray, and/or just simply be still while that needles in their place do their thing. After the allotted time has passed, needles are removed, confirmation of the patient’s well being and state during and after treatment, hopefully with a positive experience. Then we ask the patient to slowly gather them self and inform the finish of the treatment. Ideally, a positive and smooth experience will have taken place, and a foundation of trust and confidence will have been laid for a future of em-betterment for the patient and hopefully enrichment to the physician for a service well done.
Next, comes that dreaded closing ceremony of closing out the patient for that visit. Now, for some this may not be all that big of a deal. However, for me and I know for some others, this is a miserable experience. I am aware of a multitude of emotional blocks or effects that may have determined this line of thinking for some, but that doesn’t really solve the underlying factor. I have just done a service for someone, ideally from my own heart and generosity, and I am now going to ask for what appears to me, by how I was informed from others as should be, a cost of services rendered that is expected. With the current decade and inflation being assumed, the cost of an average treatment is rather high (IMO).
Perhaps, a larger group of acupuncturist or other medical professionals, feel that there needs to be a financial equivalent to the American MD. Sure why not, Acupuncturist also have a similar didactic curriculum, and depending on the institution itself, will have high standards for medical education. Given currently there are not that many residencies for acupuncturist, but in time this may change in the US. Yet, this does not mean that the education is not there. Other acupuncturists, have a more activist approach, for the end goal of a more globally appreciated view of Chinese Medicine in the US. The notion that perhaps if an acupuncturist/Chinese Medical Doctor were to one day, be viewed as equals to MD’s in the states, then perhaps the medicine will be given the respect that it’s due.
Now, there are many other factors that could entail why acupuncturist and herbalist wish to charge what they charge and all of those factors are valid in the their own light; all justifiable in their own way. However, I feel differently about it all, I have for many years. A part of me just could never agree to what the majority was saying about how I should bill patients in my own practice. I’ve been told that I should have more respect for myself and ‘act like a Doctor’ whatever that means. I can honestly say that I have drunk the proverbial kool-aid, and at times felt that very sensual allure of fame and fortune. Upon which, if you know me, is very uncharacteristic of me. Then I started a family, and the need and drive to support my family, to be a good husband that provides, and a solid father, that is there for his son, started to intermingle with the ideas that permeated my thoughts on how to earn a living and that I should be charging more to live to a certain standard of life that is representative of my station in life. Amidst all this chaos that is rather confusing, I asked myself a question.
For what am I doing this for and Why?
I began the Life Journey Experiment, soon after I started meditating on this question. In the days to follow, which quickly became weeks, I started vlogging on youtube, to push myself into a realm upon which I normally am very uncomfortable with. I chose to do this for a variety of reasons but utmost is because I need a change of scenery. When I started teaching and lecturing for the first time, the experience opened my eyes and mind to a level of understanding that I had never appreciated before. So I figured, perhaps, it could happen again, if I was pushed into something that was equally, at first, terrifying. During my time making vlogs, becoming more and more vulnerable and exposed, I began seeing myself as I was speaking to the camera and an audience that I had hoped would be listening. While editing, I began to learn more about aspect of my being that I had never known or appreciated before. Then watching the finished, polished, edited versions of what I wished the world to see of me, I learned that there is so much more of me that needs to grow, that needs to learn, develop, and evolve. Every bit of footage that the world sees of me on youtube, there is an equal number of clips that are what I consider my flaws. The hidden aspects of myself that I am to afraid to show to the world for fear of what the world may think of me. As the vlogging continued, the content I was recording became more real to me that it would break me at times, and I would have to resort to uploading something else. Vlogs that I personally like to call distractions. Some topics will slip through the vlog, but most stay in the archives for a time upon which I may present later.
It is through this process that I came to a breaking point. An aspect of my life that I had forgotten about. A part of me that seemed so long ago, that it felt but a mere dream that faded into the next thought. It is this aspect of myself that I had missed. The part of me that wanted to be who I perceived that I would become. I had forgotten about this facet because I was too preoccupied with the suggestions of others. Well meaning gifts of knowledge, passed to me in the hopes that it would bear fruit as it did for them. I held hope, onto the things that didn’t make sense to me; the process upon which I yearned for fruit, but no labor. The myth, that perhaps following in the footsteps of other successful people could possibly yield a more comfortable harvest. The attractive lure of it all blinded me from the truth of who I am and what I believe about me to be true. I had found that I did not like the path that I was walking because I was not walking my own. I had forgotten the main purpose, the main reason, the primary path upon which I believe was why I became a physician. To Give.
I don’t know the exact moment upon which I forgot that about myself, but I do know that it happened when I started to worry about not making enough money. Relying on tips and tricks, strategies from other sources, and mainstream ideologies upon how to make a living as a acupuncturist in the world today. I still practiced medicine, but the underlying goal was no longer about helping and giving, but had an undercurrent foundation of how will I pay off debt, support my family, and live a perceived better quality of life.
So, now, I am going to try things a little different, a little more me, a bit more of why I chose this path, or more rather why I believe, the Lord presented this path to me. I will put my faith into my Lord Christ, he has never failed me before, and I am a fool for believing that I could do things by listening to the ways of the world. My sole reason for why I have changed my fees, and how I plan to accept payment from patients is so that I can make the experience for the patient, as painless as possible, as un-awkward as possible, and to remove all shame and guilt from the entire experience. So that the patient will not only feel free physically, but to be free emotionally, spiritually, and Wholly. My wish, is that I can do all that I can to unburden the patient, and allow them to feel complete benefit from the treatment that I can give. Through this process, my hope is that I will be able to be free of the financial end of things, and be able to give what I can to the patients that wish to accept the help that I can offer.
Now, I am aware that there is a risk of my services being taken advantage of, but I have to trust in the Lord, and believe that the people that I hope to reach in the community that surrounds me will believe in what I am trying to do too. My highest goal, is to be able to provide holistic healthcare to those that need it most. To have an open avenue at which those that at one point could not afford it, do not have to worry about that ever again. I hope to eventually be able to expand to a larger space so that I may be able to see more patients through the days, as to the fact that I am only but a humble one room office right now. Perhaps in time this will change. I have faith that it will, and in time I trust that the community around me and other like minded physicians will be there to join me.
If you have made it this far into this latest blog post, I want to thank you for your patience and care to read my confession, And to my former self, I’m sorry I lead you down an odd path, I hope that you will still trust me on this new direction. To my former patients, forgive me for potentially not giving you my all, I will do better. Humbly Better.
